To Bill Gates Of Microsoft :-)

Although it’s only a joke but I couldn’t resist putting it here :-).
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button. We request you
to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only
‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’
, so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon
which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a
single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
7. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the
PC at home only.
8. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past
Documents’
?
9. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My
Secret Places’
. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office
hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

6 thoughts on “To Bill Gates Of Microsoft :-)”

  1. Dear Mr Banta Singh,
    Thank you for your recent feedback on our Microsoft products.
    Although I am now currently as far away from the office as I can possibly be. I will attempt to answer your questions as best I can. Pleae understand that I am slightly more than a little drunk at the moment, and currently partying like a rock star while two pairs of blonde identical twin lapdancers are trying to distract me from answering my emails… So I’ll be as brief and open with you as I can.
    1.This was deliberately decided on after consultation with a very well respected pschoanalyist/marketing guru. It’s actually a very clever reference to the infinite amount of time during a customer’s life that Microsoft endeavours to bleed you dry financially.
    2. re-scooter is actually available. Open Outlook, type in your email address as the recipient, type scooter in the topic, click send and receive. When it arrives, click reply and the re:-scooter function will appear.
    The recycle function is actually a reference to our company policy of recycling the same products every few years ie. 2000-XP, Vista-Windows 7, and selling it back to you dumb@$$es. see answer #1
    3. We are currently addressing this issue after many claims of customers allegedly losing their keys. We will be implementing a new security feature in W7 called MS Home Genuine Advantage which will fix this problem. Ultimately, end users will have 30 days to provide the correct key, or the system will automatically lock you out.
    4. Your child’s Microsoft Sentence actually exists already. However, it isn’t a product as such, more so a contractual agreement that we have entered into (see XP EULA) that calculates the amount of time that your child will spend as a MS customer. In most cases, an end users Microsoft Sentence is for the term of your natural life. (see answer #2)
    5. Sorry for the confusion there. In the EULA it states that once you install any MS program onto system hardware, it is then forfeited to Microsoft, therefore becoming My Computer, not yours.
    6. see answer #5.
    7. see answer #3
    8. I think I understand what you are saying, but I believe that you may have misspelt past. All of your documents have already been parsed and submitted to Microsoft for safe storage on our servers.
    That includes the disgusting photo of you that your mates took whilst you were drinking at the pub. I had know idea that goat rectum’s were so resilient though.
    9. see answers #1, #2, #4 & #8.
    Breaking of your contractual agreement mentioned in #4 &#1 will result in your past documents mentioned in #8 being released to your wife. Don’t ever forget, I own you!
    Regards,
    Bill Gates
    #10. All will become apparent in the new Microsoft Windows 7 Home!

  2. Energy Conservation and Air Pollution
    Plastic manufacturers burn fossil fuel to run manufacturing facilities and produce new plastics. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency notes that the burning of fossil fuels releases “greenhouse gases,” referred to as such because they not only pollute the atmosphere but contribute to a state of climate change known as the “greenhouse effect”. The process for recycling plastic produces significantly less air pollution than constructing new plastics from virgin materials and is a more environmentally-friendly.

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